Week 22: Temple Tornado Miracle
Dear Loved Ones,
On Memorial Day, all the missionaries within 25 miles of the Kansas City Temple got to do a 5K around the temple. That 5K was my first meeting with Sister Holdeman, my new companion, though I didn't know at the time we'd be getting together. She served six months at Liberty Jail and I like to joke that she was in jail there longer than Joseph Smith. Sister Crandall has been transferred back to the visitors' center in Independence. I'm jealous of them. I hope I get a chance to serve in the VC or jail at some point.
We had another tornado scare this week. Last week's tornado wasn't much of a threat in our area, but this time, the tornado sirens went off. We were in the middle of a lesson with Ace, a hardened military dude who could probably punch out a tornado if given the chance, so I felt safe. We kept asking if he wanted us to retreat to the basement, but he wasn't fazed. There's no one in Kansas I'd rather be stuck in a tornado with.
We heard something incredible about the tornado in the aftermath. The tornado was on the ground for either 2.5 miles or 2.5 hours (I think it was hours but memory is failing me), charting a course for the temple. But inside, a mother who had two children at home in a house with no basement was praying that she and her family would be preserved. Five minutes before projected time, the tornado lifted off the ground, bypassed the temple, sailed over her and where her children were sheltering, and then got back on the ground and continued on its path.
That's my miracle of the week!
Will I learn and grow here?
When I was in the MTC, a guest speaker told us that our missions would give us a greater education than any college education. She is a former general officer of the church and I admire her, but I beg to differ. Missionary life is intellectually stifling. We are not supposed to go beyond our missionary manuals and scriptures for study. I crave depth and learning. I wish I had google to look up origins of words. I wish I could read books about the Savior's atonement. I wish I could read information about certain areas of my mission that pertain to church history. My mind feels shackled. If anyone of you read or learn interesting or enlightening things about the gospel, anything, ANYTHING, please email it to me. I want so desperately to learn and grow, not just to go through rote motions.
I once asked a former missionary for his favorite things about the gospel that he had learned during his mission. He told me that he had learned nothing. Nothing. Because he only studied the simple things over and over again. At the time I thought he was stupid or lazy, but now I see that it's the way of life here.
I was able to spend an afternoon at home with my family in between Boise and the MTC. My brother asked me if I felt any different after having been a missionary for three months. I told him that no, I hadn't. My mission has not thus far been a transformative experience where I learn and grow. I hope to learn and grow during my mission, but at this point, I'm beginning to think I won't. One huge factor is that I'm 22 rather than 19 and I've already passed over the age and stage most missionaries are in.
That's okay. I was wretchedly sad when I was barred from serving, and if all I get out of my time here is that I no longer have to contend with that sadness, that's okay. I'm prepared to face the reality that no part of my mission experience will match up with the experiences other people in the church. But my mission has been a refuge from the storm of my old life and I'll always be grateful for the victory and validation it gives me, even if I don't ultimately learn and grow here.
Wish you all well!
We had another tornado scare this week. Last week's tornado wasn't much of a threat in our area, but this time, the tornado sirens went off. We were in the middle of a lesson with Ace, a hardened military dude who could probably punch out a tornado if given the chance, so I felt safe. We kept asking if he wanted us to retreat to the basement, but he wasn't fazed. There's no one in Kansas I'd rather be stuck in a tornado with.
We heard something incredible about the tornado in the aftermath. The tornado was on the ground for either 2.5 miles or 2.5 hours (I think it was hours but memory is failing me), charting a course for the temple. But inside, a mother who had two children at home in a house with no basement was praying that she and her family would be preserved. Five minutes before projected time, the tornado lifted off the ground, bypassed the temple, sailed over her and where her children were sheltering, and then got back on the ground and continued on its path.
That's my miracle of the week!
Will I learn and grow here?
When I was in the MTC, a guest speaker told us that our missions would give us a greater education than any college education. She is a former general officer of the church and I admire her, but I beg to differ. Missionary life is intellectually stifling. We are not supposed to go beyond our missionary manuals and scriptures for study. I crave depth and learning. I wish I had google to look up origins of words. I wish I could read books about the Savior's atonement. I wish I could read information about certain areas of my mission that pertain to church history. My mind feels shackled. If anyone of you read or learn interesting or enlightening things about the gospel, anything, ANYTHING, please email it to me. I want so desperately to learn and grow, not just to go through rote motions.
I once asked a former missionary for his favorite things about the gospel that he had learned during his mission. He told me that he had learned nothing. Nothing. Because he only studied the simple things over and over again. At the time I thought he was stupid or lazy, but now I see that it's the way of life here.
I was able to spend an afternoon at home with my family in between Boise and the MTC. My brother asked me if I felt any different after having been a missionary for three months. I told him that no, I hadn't. My mission has not thus far been a transformative experience where I learn and grow. I hope to learn and grow during my mission, but at this point, I'm beginning to think I won't. One huge factor is that I'm 22 rather than 19 and I've already passed over the age and stage most missionaries are in.
That's okay. I was wretchedly sad when I was barred from serving, and if all I get out of my time here is that I no longer have to contend with that sadness, that's okay. I'm prepared to face the reality that no part of my mission experience will match up with the experiences other people in the church. But my mission has been a refuge from the storm of my old life and I'll always be grateful for the victory and validation it gives me, even if I don't ultimately learn and grow here.
Wish you all well!
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