Week 14: Before I Go
Dear Loved Ones,
On Wednesday, we were halfway through a workshop when an older man with a nametag that said Missionary Department stepped in. I asked who he was and found out he's the director of MTCs. I told him I was a former two-transfer missionary and asked why two-transfer missionaries don't go to the MTC. He said they're actually reconsidering that right now. I told him that starting a mission without the MTC first made me feel like I had to prove myself backwards and in heels (in ballroom dance, the woman moves back as the man steps forward, so even when they're doing the same steps, the woman has to work harder to prove she's as good a dancer as the man). He said that was great feedback to hear and good timing. I'm glad I went over and talked to him at that moment because he was only in the room for a few minutes. Him being in our room was a blessing I was grateful to seize. Maybe my comment can pave the way for future missionaries. I love change in the church!
Today has been a hard day, and I'm trying to push it out of my mind so I can focus on doing everything I need to do so I can wake up at 4:00 am tomorrow and get on my plane to Missouri. But other than that, life has been really good.
You know how people say youth is wasted on the young? Well, the MTC is wasted on people who haven't been in the field yet. My roommates and companion are chomping at the bit ready to be in the field, but I've been so happy here.
Last night, we did this activity where everyone in class went around the room and said their favorite thing about me. They told me they value my confidence and knowledge and kindness and have a tremendous respect for me because of what I went through to get on a mission. It was incredibly validating to hear other people celebrate my strengths. Now, time to get out to Missouri and put those to use.
And we got to watch conference! Woohoo!
I watched the past six conferences in a state of desperation, searching for anything that could give me comfort in not being on a mission yet and inspiration for how I could get on one. This conference, I wasn't desperate. I didn't need to make a list of questions to answer.
It's such a beautiful feeling, to have nothing left to ask for. Uchtdorf's talk Saturday morning revering missionaries is now a pat on the back instead of a sting. All the mission-centric talks did. At one point I wondered if there were always so many mission talks or if I was just noticing them because I'm a missionary now, and then I remembered that I did notice them before. But now I like them.
Since I'll be in Missouri as of Wednesday, I loved how many talks seemed to deal with the pending Second Coming. A lot of missions are great, and I've seen dozens of missionaries here give me a polite nod when I say where I'm going and then squeal "That's so awesome!" when the missionary next to me says she's going to Hawaii or Australia or New Zealand, but I know that I really have the best mission. Because I'm going to build up Zion.
Moving on from me and mine, here are my thoughts on the rest of conference. I loved Holland and Oaks' talks and whoever it was who spoke on how we need to discuss the temple more. My two favorite things about the gospel are the temple and feeling the Spirit. Before I received my temple endowment, people talked about it with such mystery and hedging that I was prepared for something really weird. I was underwhelmed by how normal the proceedings were. Also, my favorite lesson I've taught so far was explaining the temple to an eleven and fourteen year old. (Oh, and their mom. Hi, Stephanie.)
I LOVED how Elder Andersen centralized the unborn in his talk on truth. The LGBT movement is the hot button issue of the day and gobbles up time and focus whenever The Family Proclamation is discussed. I clapped (quietly, reverently) when the sanctity of life was mentioned FIRST. And then he said that we are OBLIGATED to defend the unborn. Not just allowed to, but obligated. This is a lonely church to defend life in. I have attended training meetings at St. Catherine of Siena's Catholic church, but never in one of my own churches. In the summer of 2017, I edited written materials for Students for Life of America designed to be distributed in churches. I was saddened to think that my work would never be allowed to hang on an announcement board in my own church. We only advertise our own programs and our church has no post-abortion healing groups. BYU refused to let me and other students start an SFLA chapter, though there are plenty of political clubs and social issue clubs on campus. And the ONLY time I ever discuss abortion in terms of religion is when I'm defending the church's stance to active members, active members who would never skimp on tithing or the Word of Wisdom, but feel free to cherry pick the Family Proclamation. And then to call it disagreeing instead of disbelieving. I've been too often afraid to defend the church's stance within the church, though I have no problem doing it outside a church context.
Takashi Wada spoke to us Tuesday night and teased his coming conference talk. He told the world about only his mother's conversion, but he told us the story of how his 101 year old grandmother decided to join the church years after her daughter. Some sisters I knew in Idaho were teaching an 88 year old man. My trainer told me all of her converts had been young people, but it's truly never too late!
Weekly tip:
I talk a lot about mission-centricness to the point where I wonder whether it sounds like I hate missionaries. Obviously, I am one, so I can't. What I want to emphasize this week isn't how little I think of missions, but how much I think of every other part of church life.
Someone told me a few months ago that "You're never more a Mormon than when you're a missionary." Too some extent, that's true in terms of lifestyle. I was never more affected by Shakespeare than when I went on a theater study abroad to England. I was never more affected by the U.S. Constitution than when I stood in front of an abortion clinic and talked to police officers who couldn't arrest me because of my first amendment rights. And I have never been more religion focused than I am now as a missionary.
But can we hear it for the ordinary members? Actually, that's a bad term, because missionaries aren't a different type of person than members. Missionaries are members who serve missions for a time and then go do something else with their lives. And members do so many good things! Here are my counterpoints to "You're never more a Mormon than when you're a missionary."
You're never more a member than when you pick up your neighbors' kids from school because she has fibromyalgia and needs time to rest.
You're never more a member than when you check in on your sister who has bipolar disorder.
You're never more a member than when you babysit for a couple while they go to the temple and refuse to let them pay you, even though you're fourteen and could really use some money for the movies.
You're never more a member than when you take your kids on a church history road trip to get them in touch with their heritage.
The purpose of missionary work is to create more members and strengthen people who already are. Too many members who served missions in the past talk about the gospel as if it exists to give missionaries something to do. No! Missionaries exist for the gospel, not the other way around.
Your tip to avoid mission-centricness this week is to celebrate members in everything else they do.
Sincerely,
Sister Smith
On Wednesday, we were halfway through a workshop when an older man with a nametag that said Missionary Department stepped in. I asked who he was and found out he's the director of MTCs. I told him I was a former two-transfer missionary and asked why two-transfer missionaries don't go to the MTC. He said they're actually reconsidering that right now. I told him that starting a mission without the MTC first made me feel like I had to prove myself backwards and in heels (in ballroom dance, the woman moves back as the man steps forward, so even when they're doing the same steps, the woman has to work harder to prove she's as good a dancer as the man). He said that was great feedback to hear and good timing. I'm glad I went over and talked to him at that moment because he was only in the room for a few minutes. Him being in our room was a blessing I was grateful to seize. Maybe my comment can pave the way for future missionaries. I love change in the church!
Today has been a hard day, and I'm trying to push it out of my mind so I can focus on doing everything I need to do so I can wake up at 4:00 am tomorrow and get on my plane to Missouri. But other than that, life has been really good.
You know how people say youth is wasted on the young? Well, the MTC is wasted on people who haven't been in the field yet. My roommates and companion are chomping at the bit ready to be in the field, but I've been so happy here.
Last night, we did this activity where everyone in class went around the room and said their favorite thing about me. They told me they value my confidence and knowledge and kindness and have a tremendous respect for me because of what I went through to get on a mission. It was incredibly validating to hear other people celebrate my strengths. Now, time to get out to Missouri and put those to use.
And we got to watch conference! Woohoo!
I watched the past six conferences in a state of desperation, searching for anything that could give me comfort in not being on a mission yet and inspiration for how I could get on one. This conference, I wasn't desperate. I didn't need to make a list of questions to answer.
It's such a beautiful feeling, to have nothing left to ask for. Uchtdorf's talk Saturday morning revering missionaries is now a pat on the back instead of a sting. All the mission-centric talks did. At one point I wondered if there were always so many mission talks or if I was just noticing them because I'm a missionary now, and then I remembered that I did notice them before. But now I like them.
Since I'll be in Missouri as of Wednesday, I loved how many talks seemed to deal with the pending Second Coming. A lot of missions are great, and I've seen dozens of missionaries here give me a polite nod when I say where I'm going and then squeal "That's so awesome!" when the missionary next to me says she's going to Hawaii or Australia or New Zealand, but I know that I really have the best mission. Because I'm going to build up Zion.
Moving on from me and mine, here are my thoughts on the rest of conference. I loved Holland and Oaks' talks and whoever it was who spoke on how we need to discuss the temple more. My two favorite things about the gospel are the temple and feeling the Spirit. Before I received my temple endowment, people talked about it with such mystery and hedging that I was prepared for something really weird. I was underwhelmed by how normal the proceedings were. Also, my favorite lesson I've taught so far was explaining the temple to an eleven and fourteen year old. (Oh, and their mom. Hi, Stephanie.)
I LOVED how Elder Andersen centralized the unborn in his talk on truth. The LGBT movement is the hot button issue of the day and gobbles up time and focus whenever The Family Proclamation is discussed. I clapped (quietly, reverently) when the sanctity of life was mentioned FIRST. And then he said that we are OBLIGATED to defend the unborn. Not just allowed to, but obligated. This is a lonely church to defend life in. I have attended training meetings at St. Catherine of Siena's Catholic church, but never in one of my own churches. In the summer of 2017, I edited written materials for Students for Life of America designed to be distributed in churches. I was saddened to think that my work would never be allowed to hang on an announcement board in my own church. We only advertise our own programs and our church has no post-abortion healing groups. BYU refused to let me and other students start an SFLA chapter, though there are plenty of political clubs and social issue clubs on campus. And the ONLY time I ever discuss abortion in terms of religion is when I'm defending the church's stance to active members, active members who would never skimp on tithing or the Word of Wisdom, but feel free to cherry pick the Family Proclamation. And then to call it disagreeing instead of disbelieving. I've been too often afraid to defend the church's stance within the church, though I have no problem doing it outside a church context.
Takashi Wada spoke to us Tuesday night and teased his coming conference talk. He told the world about only his mother's conversion, but he told us the story of how his 101 year old grandmother decided to join the church years after her daughter. Some sisters I knew in Idaho were teaching an 88 year old man. My trainer told me all of her converts had been young people, but it's truly never too late!
Weekly tip:
I talk a lot about mission-centricness to the point where I wonder whether it sounds like I hate missionaries. Obviously, I am one, so I can't. What I want to emphasize this week isn't how little I think of missions, but how much I think of every other part of church life.
Someone told me a few months ago that "You're never more a Mormon than when you're a missionary." Too some extent, that's true in terms of lifestyle. I was never more affected by Shakespeare than when I went on a theater study abroad to England. I was never more affected by the U.S. Constitution than when I stood in front of an abortion clinic and talked to police officers who couldn't arrest me because of my first amendment rights. And I have never been more religion focused than I am now as a missionary.
But can we hear it for the ordinary members? Actually, that's a bad term, because missionaries aren't a different type of person than members. Missionaries are members who serve missions for a time and then go do something else with their lives. And members do so many good things! Here are my counterpoints to "You're never more a Mormon than when you're a missionary."
You're never more a member than when you pick up your neighbors' kids from school because she has fibromyalgia and needs time to rest.
You're never more a member than when you check in on your sister who has bipolar disorder.
You're never more a member than when you babysit for a couple while they go to the temple and refuse to let them pay you, even though you're fourteen and could really use some money for the movies.
You're never more a member than when you take your kids on a church history road trip to get them in touch with their heritage.
The purpose of missionary work is to create more members and strengthen people who already are. Too many members who served missions in the past talk about the gospel as if it exists to give missionaries something to do. No! Missionaries exist for the gospel, not the other way around.
Your tip to avoid mission-centricness this week is to celebrate members in everything else they do.
Sincerely,
Sister Smith
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