Week 32: Seeking the Light
Dear Loved Ones
Last week, my friend Fia and I took a road trip to Liberty Jail, ran into a guy she wanted to baptize her, and decided to jump her baptism up to this Saturday, three weeks ahead of schedule. That meant we had devote our entire week to her.
Here is the story of how that had happened.
First, we put our P-day (day off) on pause last Monday to spend three hours teaching her one of the final lessons, prepping her for her baptismal interview, and talking her through some scary stuff with her family. I wish I could share the full story so I could show you fully how incredible Fia is, but I can't. All I'll say is that her family are dangerous. They're not afraid to hurt people to get their way.
They hate not only The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but Christianity in general and she knew she'd be in danger if they knew she was joining. She was torn because she wanted to stand as a witness and share her newfound love of the gospel, but also worried about her family's retribution.
I told her that there are different answers for different people. Esther did God's will by playing her cards close to her chest and not practicing her faith openly until she knew she had the upper hand. Daniel did God's will by praying openly and trusting in deliverance from the lions.
Yeah, my goal with that was to talk her into being Esther. Not Daniel. She decided to be Daniel.
That was Monday. Tuesday night, she ran into her family. When we met her Wednesday for her baptismal interview, she had a mark of physical violence on her face. It may heal, it may scar. I spent every moment this week either praying for her, worrying for her, or rejoicing that things were finally looking up for her. She is so brave. Before her interview, she said she wasn't nervous because "The worst thing, that has happened."
I worried about her family crashing the baptism, but they stayed away, and then her confirmation was the sweetest thing ever. All about peace and joy and being protected from the Evil One. She is such a joy to teach. Though she was raised with vehement opposition to Christianity, she never once struggled with anything we taught her. She kept every commitment and even converted her spare bedroom into a scripture study room. We got her a Come Follow Me book a week ago and she's taken it upon herself to catch up on all the lessons, starting in January. She has a bright life ahead of her!
In Relief Society, the discussion leader asked everyone to share examples of choices we'd made to be happy both in the present and the future. I thought of saying, "I chose to teach Fia during my day off," but then Fia raised her hand. She said (paraphrasing), "I chose to turn my back on a family of dangerous criminals and be baptized, even if it meant sacrificing my appearance."
Wow. How can I ever think any little missionary sacrifice is important in comparison to that? That was terribly mission-centric of me.
Fia is the coolest and bravest woman I've ever met. She reminds me not only of Daniel, but of Captain Moroni and Mary Rollins Lightner. I mentioned Mary in an email back in March, but as a refresher, she saved the Book of Commandments pages as a teenager and when she was twenty, a year older than Fia, the militia in Missouri gave her a chance to flee before a planned massacre. When Mary couldn't talk them into letting others go, she said, "If that is the case, I refuse to go. Where they die, I will die, for I am a full-blooded Mormon, and I am not ashamed to own it."
There were times this week where I thought, "This is the most complicated baptism to organize in the history of ever." But it isn't. I'm serving in the Missouri Independence Mission, where violence used to be the order of the day. Risking our lives for our beliefs is nothing new. We've just forgotten it for a few generations. In my talk at Fia's baptism, I compared her to Emma Smith. Emma's husband built a dam in a steam to create a pool of water to baptize her in, but the night before, a mob wrecked the dam to prevent the baptisms from taking place. That didn't faze Emma. She woke up the next morning, rebuilt the dam, and was baptized while the mob stood on the bank heckling her. From the very beginning, people in Christ's restored church have overcome opposition to baptism and following other commandments of God. At times, it takes courage to do what God wants. Fia has that kind of courage.
Fia is one who has always been seeking the light, long before she knew that light was the light of Christ.
This week feels like a turning point in my mission and my life. My trials of being stalled to serve pale in comparison to the smallest things she's gone through. I want to be the type of missionary Fia deserves. I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else as courageous, humble, and light-filled as Fia for the rest of my mission or my life, but I'm fired up with newfound purpose and I want to get out there ad find more people who are seeking the light like she is.
Sincerely,
Sister Smith
Last week, my friend Fia and I took a road trip to Liberty Jail, ran into a guy she wanted to baptize her, and decided to jump her baptism up to this Saturday, three weeks ahead of schedule. That meant we had devote our entire week to her.
Here is the story of how that had happened.
First, we put our P-day (day off) on pause last Monday to spend three hours teaching her one of the final lessons, prepping her for her baptismal interview, and talking her through some scary stuff with her family. I wish I could share the full story so I could show you fully how incredible Fia is, but I can't. All I'll say is that her family are dangerous. They're not afraid to hurt people to get their way.
They hate not only The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but Christianity in general and she knew she'd be in danger if they knew she was joining. She was torn because she wanted to stand as a witness and share her newfound love of the gospel, but also worried about her family's retribution.
I told her that there are different answers for different people. Esther did God's will by playing her cards close to her chest and not practicing her faith openly until she knew she had the upper hand. Daniel did God's will by praying openly and trusting in deliverance from the lions.
Yeah, my goal with that was to talk her into being Esther. Not Daniel. She decided to be Daniel.
That was Monday. Tuesday night, she ran into her family. When we met her Wednesday for her baptismal interview, she had a mark of physical violence on her face. It may heal, it may scar. I spent every moment this week either praying for her, worrying for her, or rejoicing that things were finally looking up for her. She is so brave. Before her interview, she said she wasn't nervous because "The worst thing, that has happened."
I worried about her family crashing the baptism, but they stayed away, and then her confirmation was the sweetest thing ever. All about peace and joy and being protected from the Evil One. She is such a joy to teach. Though she was raised with vehement opposition to Christianity, she never once struggled with anything we taught her. She kept every commitment and even converted her spare bedroom into a scripture study room. We got her a Come Follow Me book a week ago and she's taken it upon herself to catch up on all the lessons, starting in January. She has a bright life ahead of her!
In Relief Society, the discussion leader asked everyone to share examples of choices we'd made to be happy both in the present and the future. I thought of saying, "I chose to teach Fia during my day off," but then Fia raised her hand. She said (paraphrasing), "I chose to turn my back on a family of dangerous criminals and be baptized, even if it meant sacrificing my appearance."
Wow. How can I ever think any little missionary sacrifice is important in comparison to that? That was terribly mission-centric of me.
Fia is the coolest and bravest woman I've ever met. She reminds me not only of Daniel, but of Captain Moroni and Mary Rollins Lightner. I mentioned Mary in an email back in March, but as a refresher, she saved the Book of Commandments pages as a teenager and when she was twenty, a year older than Fia, the militia in Missouri gave her a chance to flee before a planned massacre. When Mary couldn't talk them into letting others go, she said, "If that is the case, I refuse to go. Where they die, I will die, for I am a full-blooded Mormon, and I am not ashamed to own it."
There were times this week where I thought, "This is the most complicated baptism to organize in the history of ever." But it isn't. I'm serving in the Missouri Independence Mission, where violence used to be the order of the day. Risking our lives for our beliefs is nothing new. We've just forgotten it for a few generations. In my talk at Fia's baptism, I compared her to Emma Smith. Emma's husband built a dam in a steam to create a pool of water to baptize her in, but the night before, a mob wrecked the dam to prevent the baptisms from taking place. That didn't faze Emma. She woke up the next morning, rebuilt the dam, and was baptized while the mob stood on the bank heckling her. From the very beginning, people in Christ's restored church have overcome opposition to baptism and following other commandments of God. At times, it takes courage to do what God wants. Fia has that kind of courage.
Fia is one who has always been seeking the light, long before she knew that light was the light of Christ.
This week feels like a turning point in my mission and my life. My trials of being stalled to serve pale in comparison to the smallest things she's gone through. I want to be the type of missionary Fia deserves. I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else as courageous, humble, and light-filled as Fia for the rest of my mission or my life, but I'm fired up with newfound purpose and I want to get out there ad find more people who are seeking the light like she is.
Sincerely,
Sister Smith
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